Well this week was slightly more eye opening than the last. From the moment I stepped foot into the classroom, listening to what others had to say about the world we live in, I thought that this was not the class for me. Everyone has so many opinions and analytical thoughts that seem much more intelligent than mine. I read the blogs shared through Canvas and immediately thought that I could not compete because my brain just does not process these things in the same way. After our class discussion on mindfulness, I admitted to my peers that I would probably not take time out of my busy days to practice this form of meditation. I made an excuse, and as I sit here and type I realize how selfish that sounds considering I could be taking another step towards helping myself and helping those around me. I am part of the group that we have discussions about. The ones that never put in the time and effort to do good in order to maintain a healthy place to live in. Not that I do not want to take the steps in order to salvage what we have left, but I find so many other obstacles that I need to overcome first. That does not mean that they are more important, but they are clear and never hidden behind a lens.
I want to change my behaviors and realize that there are more important things to worry about and focus on. What kind of person would I be if I did nothing to aid in saving humanity? We are supposed to talk about how we are contributing to the learning environment and what we learned from others, but I have not been presenting much to other classmates. I can undoubtedly say that they are teaching me so much and secretly revealing what type of person I am without realizing it. Everyone always says, “surround yourself with others that will make you a better person” and having to take this class is forcing me to do just that. Coming into this school year I set goals for myself. One of the biggest was to not conceal myself. I tend to lock myself up and choose to be someone else, but I want to disclose the raw parts of who I am even if they are a bit spoiled. I am grateful for a learning environment in which us students are able to teach one another, but also have a source of guidance right beside us.
I came into the rest of the week with a more open mind and decided to express the way I felt towards the topics with more ease. I let the shy, nervous aspects of how I am kind of slip away and became comfortable in the setting. I reminded myself of my goal and realized that I am not the only person that has to feel the same way that I do. There are probably others that are hiding parts of themselves and I may not realize it either. But the biggest thing that I have taken away from this class so far is that it is a safe place. Practicing mindfulness in the ever so popular bean bag chair made me feel safer. I walked into the classroom on Thursday and felt more confident than I had in the times previous. We discussed our readings and I was able to actually put a majority of my thoughts into words. How awesome is that? Because I was on the “Yes” side I had to argue how globalization was sustainable. I made clear that I had a hard time recognizing how it was sustainable, but still argued my points in order to follow the guidelines of the discussion. Though I personally think that more income can cause many to be more materialistic, I continued with the idea that the more income coming in can lead to others helping the environment with what they have. I also added that with the combining of groups, comes more resources available to everyone. Besides the few things I have recognized about who I am as a person, and arguing for my side of the room, I also met new people that will help me become more sustainable myself.