Inside my own mindfulness

These past few weeks have been very stressful. I do my best to handle my negative feelings privately. I do not like crying in front of others, especially my peers or teachers. I am a very emotional person and I understand this. I try to step away from situations to cry and release those negative feelings before handling the situation. But recently, I haven’t had the ability to step back. Time still moves and does not stop for my weepy eyes. Recently I have not been the most mindful. I have taken out some of my frustration on those close to me unintentionally and got in an argument because of it. While these discussions are helpful and make me more aware of my surroundings, it is still not possible for me to get out of this mindset I have been in.

              Because of my recent mindset, I have not been doing the mindfulness activity like meditation that I should be, and maybe it would help. But I’ve been struggling with some motivation to do things. We talked about globalization and being mindful of the planet as well as being mindful. And I remember talking with one of my discussion groups that you need a good balance with being mindful of your own life and being mindful about the world around you. And recently I have not been the most mindful of myself. I’ve been struggling with putting myself first and I always have struggled with being mindful of myself and treating myself how I should. While I am not being the best to myself, I’ve still been trying to recycle any boxes I have but I don’t have an accessible place to dispose of plastic and cans so they don’t just get dumped in the trash.

              On globalization, I believe more people should be mindful. It is possible not lots of people will physically chose to not care about the earth as we grow. I fully believe globalization is inevitable because people will always wish to grow and live in a better society that makes life easier. But if people chose to not care about the earth and care for the environment then we cannot live sustainably for long. Living sustainably allows generations to live in the same area and not worry about struggling on resources. A big thing in people’s current lives are being financially stable. People focus on a sustainable financial position because money very much makes the world go round. If people put that much thought into handling the environment like they handle their finances, I feel it is possible to live in a more sustainable environment.

              This post is more somber than my last, but these past few days have drained me, but I am not giving up. I want to be more mindful about myself and the environment and learn more about sustainability and how to live sustainably so the earth can be better and humans as a species can live and last for decades ahead. As we continue through this course, I will try to do more meditation because I believe it may help my mental state to stop dwelling on every negative thought and I will do my best to learn more about sustainability and how globalization affects sustainability.

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