I learned that I am not very mindful with things that I do. I will have just done something and not even twenty seconds later, I have already forgotten what it was that I did. I learned that the things we do aren’t always a result of our consciousness or deliberate thought. When our minds aren’t focused on the present, it is hard for us to adapt to things going on around us. It also makes us vulnerable to the things going on around us and we might do things we don’t even notice that we’re doing. Depression and anxiety have a role in our mindfulness. Dealing with these things can make us space out or not in the right state of mind. I have personally dealt with anxiety almost my whole life and have noticed that it takes over my thoughts big time. I space out a lot and especially when I have panic attacks. When this happens I’m not able to focus on stuff that’s going on around me. Thoughts can be a whole lot of things like images, assumptions, or even beliefs. When my anxiety is acting up I try my best not to think about it a lot. My mind will wander with many thoughts and I will begin to stress about things that aren’t even worth stressing about, so I try to focus on one peaceful thing. The things I normally try to focus on are drawing and music. The more that you try to truly be in the moment, the more you will be engaged and not tend to zone out. Being engaged and truly living the moment helps you feel emotion and remember that memory.
During my five minutes of mindfulness I decided to listen to music and try to understand what it is that calmed me down. I noticed that the more upbeat the music is, the more calming it is. When there’s more rhythm it is keeping my brain occupied by listening to a rhythm. I used to be a competitive hip hop dancer, so when music has an upbeat rhythm I tend to think of dancing in my head. It helps my mind focus on one specific thing. I also tried to focus on the instruments being used that I haven’t noticed before.
My thinking has been changed by trying best to stay focused on what I’m doing. I tend to get distracted easily and forget what I’m doing, so I sometimes tend not to finish certain tasks. The past couple days I have tried my best to stay focused on one thing at a time. If I start on one task then I finish it, instead of moving on to something else. Staying focused and committed to finishing one thing at a time has helped me stay organized. Instead of starting to fold my laundry and then getting distracted by a Netflix show, I finish folding my laundry and then watch Netflix. Staying on top of my task and not zoning out has been really beneficial to my school life as well. Instead of my anxiety getting the best of me and stressing about everything, I take a step back and allow myself time to just sit and get it done. I try not to rush myself, so I am able to do my work efficiently and correctly. Less error for mistake when I take my time and have a clear head space.